Elaine Miller
I'm gonna pose a few questions. Warning: I have no answers, myself...
Defining Dyke Sex
Is It (dyke)Sex or not if:
(1)
Two grrls in a relationship leap upon each other
with fingers, fists, dicks,
lube, buttplugs, they stay in bed for
hours, emerge sweaty, satiated,
and having both had many orgasms?
(1a)
What if one woman doesn't have orgasms, or chooses
not to?
Bonus question: What if neither do?
(1b)
What if they started, and 10 minutes into their
time together, they were
interrupted by a fire alarm, before anyone
had gotten really going, or had
an orgasm (which they both were
capable of and wanted)?
Bonus question: What about if they were
interrupted in the first few
*seconds* of lovemaking?
(1c)
What if two grrls in a relationship leap upon each
other with fingers,
fists, dicks, lube, buttplugs, with the kinky
intent to make one of the
women have an orgasm in under three minutes?
(Timed, and she's out
of luck if she can't come by that time?) Is that
sex?
Bonus question: What if she can't quite make it in time?
~~~~~~~~~
(2)
Two grrls in NOT a relationship leap upon each other
with fingers, fists,
dicks, lube, buttplugs, they stay in bed for
hours, emerge sweaty,
satiated, and having both had many
orgasms...
(2a)
Two grrls in NOT a relationship leap upon each
other with fingers, fists,
dicks, lube, buttplugs, they spend less
than 5 minutes in bed, and then
one of the women's non-poly, surprised
and decieved partner/girlfriend
walks in. Did the two dykes in bed
have sex? Does it differ depending
on whose viewpoint one is looking
at it from? (Is there ever an end to my
dangling
participles?)
Bonus question: Does it change if they were in the
backseat of the
aggrieved lover's car?
~~~~~~~
(3)
Two grrls in a relationship, who do SM, get together
to play. One
woman can have orgasms from BDSM activities, without
being touched
genitally. While being touched genitally, in a way she
perceives as
sexual, she can't. The other woman has orgasms from
genital touching,
but not from BDSM.
Is there ever a situation
where one woman could be considered to have
had sex, and the other
hadn't? What if they each hated the alternate-to-
orgasm activity, and
did it only to please their partner?
~~~~~~~
(4)
Is any of it ever about orgasm?
~~~~~~~~
(5)
Does the relationship factor change anything in your
mind?
~~~~~~~
(6)
Is cyber sex "sex"?
What if it's with your RL,
long term, live-in-the-same-house partner,
who's off on a business
trip?
What if it's with a stranger, who turns out to be a man
masquerading as
a woman? Can a dyke become an accidental
cyber-bisexual?
What if it's with your best friend?
What if a
remote-control vibrator (which is controlled by your cyber
partner) is
involved?
~~~~~~~~
(7)
Is it sex if two dykes sit in the same room and jerk
off while watching
each other?
Is it sex if two dykes sit on the
same couch and jerk off while watching
each other?
Is it sex if two
dykes sit in each other's laps jerk off while watching each
other?
Does it count if one helps the other? In order to be "sex",
does it have to
include the moment of orgasm, or can it just be, like,
holding the lube
bottle, or maybe a spot of nipple-pinching?
~~~~~~~
(8)
Is it sex if two dykes are in separate rooms,
wherein the common wall
is made of plexiglass?
If they are pressed
up against each other, with the glass between them?
If the plexiglass
transmits heat?
What if the plexiglass has glory holes? Big enough for
a dildo? Big
enough for a fist? Big enough for a woman's head to poke
through?
What if the "barrier" is soft and pliable, like clingwrap --
or latex?
What if it's very soft and pliable, but is opaque and
soundproof?
How do we feel about dental dams, anyhow?
~~~~~~~
(9)
Is it all about insertion? Clit-rubbing?
~~~~~~~
(10)
Which case is "more like sex"?
a) Two dykes on a
private couch kiss for an hour, stroke and caress,
pinch, scratch and
pull hair, are totally into each other, completely
focussed, but
remain dressed even though they get so wet that their
boxers will
never be quite the same...
or
b) Two dykes fuck lackidaisically,
(dick and harness) bored with each
other, simmering with hidden
resentment, both wishing the other would
come already, so they could
feign a leg cramp and stop. One is
fantasizing about k.d. lang, the
other about Ellen Degeneres. It's not
helping.
~~~~~~~~~~~
OK, I could go on for hours like this, but this seems
oh-so-much-more
than enough.
Interested in seeing some folks draw lines -- write me with your opinions?
-Elaine
