Reposting!

Gyno exam table (doctor’s bench, medical table), retro.

Just the thing for your livingroom, dungeon, or playroom! Everyone needs one of these as a conversation piece. Suitable for tattoo work, piercing studios, and for those who just like to play doctor. $200 OBO.

Details:

White enameled metal construction. Sturdy and heavy.

Corded, it plugs into wall socket, and socket (shown in gallery) on side of table becomes live for when you need an extra electrical appliance to bring light, power or that certain zing to your activities.

The table top easily raises on a hinge (just pull up) to form a type of chair back. Adjustable to various inclinations. Release is a foot pedal. Comes complete with a roll of paper, for that fresh clean feeling.

All the drawers and doors open and move easily.

There’s a step at the Doctor end, one presumes for easy mounting of the patient. Um, I mean, patients need to climb onto tables safely!

Full pics here:
http://elainemiller.com/gallery/gyno/

Contact elaine (at) elainemiller (dot) com.

Pass it on!

Join Canadian Mayhem / Bride of Pride as we stroll through Vancouver! Help us show a great kinky women’s presence! All women/trans welcome!

==========================

Dyke March
Saturday, Aug 1
http://www.vancouverdykemarch.com/
Gather 11:30am at McSpadden Park.
Starts at noon.

===========================

Pride Parade
Sunday, August 2
We’re tagging along with MVK in the parade, so do drop by and join us at the staging area, or at anywhere along the route!
Parade starts at Robson and Thurlow!
http://www.vancouverpride.ca/parade-route
Here’s where MVK’s doing the staging (pre-parade)
http://leatherdyke.com/u.php?19

Here’s what the banner looks like!

Mayhem! in Xtra West

Oh, my, we did it!

Participants, look for an email coming soon, with a link to a survey so you can help us improve, and a bunch of info about how you can stay in touch.

We have many people to follow up with, and thank, and are all still reeling around with stunned and goofy grins. I have never done anything as intense in my whole entire crazy kinky life, as Mayhem!

Again in 2011, we’re thinking!

The pic is Xtra West’s Mayhem issue cover (thanks, Xtra West, for being our media sponsor!). Click to make it BIG!

I worked as Xtra West newspaper’s monthly queer and kinky sex columnist 2002 – 2006. I wrote several full length feature articles on sexuality during that time, plus other articles and columns.

I’m a writer of erotic short fiction. (scroll down for an exciting look at the covers) I’ve been anthologized in the following books: Best Bondage Erotica 2, The Best of Best Lesbian Erotica, Best Lesbian Erotica 2005, Hot Lesbian Erotica 2005, With a Rough Tongue: Femmes Write Porn, Best Lesbian Erotica 1998, Best Lesbian Erotica 2001, Exact Fare Only II, The Best of Best Lesbian Erotica, Skin Deep 2: More Real-Life Lesbian Sex…, Brazen Femme: Queering Femininity. Plus various periodicals and websites.

I was the Publisher & Managing Editor, Diversity Magazine (pansexual, pornographic, perverted and political.) 1994 – 1997.

And once upon a queer time, I was submissions editor for Lezzie SMUT! magazine, 1993.

Here’s some writing stuff in the old site format:
http://elainemiller.com/write/

Here’s where I’m moving stuff to:
http://elainemiller.com/sections/writing/

Buy Books

Here’s some of the books within the pages of which I’ve been published. I’d be pretty happy if you’d buy these books using these links, since then some portion of the bucks comes to me, and I can always use bucks.

Best Bondage Erotica 2 More info: Cleis site	The Best of Best Lesbian Erotica
Best Lesbian Erotica 2005	Hot Lesbian Erotica 2005	With a Rough Tongue: Femmes Write Porn
Best Lesbian Erotica 1998	Best Lesbian Erotica 2001	Exact Fare Only II
The Best of Best Lesbian Erotica	Skin Deep 2: More Real-Life Lesbian Sex…	Brazen Femme: Queering Femininity

Writing Index

Because I write professionally, I don’t put most of my work (especially full-length fiction) online here, as it can damage its resale value by making it “published”.
These pieces, I’m afraid, are either (1) the “tramps” of my writing collection, having already appeared many places and already earned their keep, or (2) poetry or poetic prose, in which genre I consider myself happily non-professional.

Sillyness

I Know You Are But What Am I
One of my first tries at original song lyrics. I think I muffed the scansion a bit, but Megan sings it awful nicely.

Defining Dyke Sex
I can’t. Can you?

You’ve heard of murderers getting off on the homosexual panic defence? Well, welcome to…Heterosexual Panic

Pussy Stories

There Must Be More Than One Way To Worm a Cat
One author’s trials and risk of life and limb.

Pondering Party Pussy Problems
If you’ve ever wondered exactly to which lengths a cat is willing to go in order to be near his humans, read on…

Sex Kitten. I think it explains itself quite well.

Cold Hard Facts

How to Make Your Own Dil Harness
Sick of paying $70 for a harness that chafes in all the wrong places? Here’s instructions to do-it-yourself, with a result so comfy you can sleep in it! She’ll love you for it!

Make-Your-Own-Flogger Directions
Now this ain’t sayin’ I’m cheap, but I’m Scots through and through, and when I can make a whip for almost nothing, it pains me to pay someone $150 for the same product. Here’s directions for the marginally craft-enabled.

Sex, Gender, Queerness and Kink

Sexuality, Gender, and Labels, Oh My! – Elaine’s Token Bisexual Piece or: Bisexual Bygones.

Women on Wheels Reading (The one that never got a title.)

Keys Hang Left

One Woman’s Boot Fetish – It’s a Dyke Thing.
We’re so familiar with the model foot/shoe fetishist being your heterosexual male with a passionate thing for ladies’ high heels, that I think we ignore the possibility of other shoe fetish genres. Here’s this grrl’s boot fetish.

A Short Explanation of BDSM, Outrageously Simplified and Scandalously Scant.
Part One of Three in the series “BDSM and Background Checks”
This article is meant as an informational and exploratory supplement to the next two articles in the series. Experienced players may skip this, or read on to see if I’ve slaughtered the language in my usual fashion.

Should New Lovers Come With Written Credentials? A Why-for on Background Checks, in the Kinky Lifestyle.
Part Two of Three in the series “BDSM and Background Checks”
Ever think your new lover should have come with written references and a security check? As any single woman without a black belt and a .45 can tell you, ordinary dating can be a dangerous lifestyle. And BDSM can complicate things further. Read on…

“A Kinky Report Card? Well, he failed his Orals!” When you’re asked to spill the beans on a old lover – A How-to on Background Checks in the Kinky Lifestyle.
Part Three of Three in the series “BDSM and Background Checks”

Philosophical Ramblings

Things That Make The Whole Darn Thing Worthwhile
Written (circa 1990) in response to a friend’s plaintive wail “But what is there to live for?”, this is a rather silly list of the top 150 or so.

Life is a Boat – #1 in the Analogies From Hell Series
Author’s note: I have an unfortunate bent towards analogy in philosophy – this was written somewhere in my twenties, and is the first in the Analogies From Hell series.

Life is a Stewpot
Second in my Analogies From Hell series — This is really a bad habit, don’t you think?

Mad Elaine’s Rules of Thumb or, “Seems to Work So Far”
At the beginning of time, there were the Ten Commandments. Now, there is a set of statements not nearly so pedantic. Care to argue?

Personal Anecdotes

Wedding Gaydar
Gaydar (GAY’-dar) From: gay radar, or the mythical seventh, eighth or ninth sense that homosexuals use to identify each other in public spaces, without the use of rainbow flag patches, earring placement or hanky codes.

Body Hair, Hirsute Women, and my Mother
I shave my legs. I trim my bikini line when I feel like it. And my armpit hair grows in a luxuriant way, unfettered and unclipped…. Mother didn’t like it.

Therapaphobia
“You don’t understand.” I said. “I can’t go see a therapist. I have Therapaphobia. I have so many issues with therapists, that I’d have to go to a second therapist to deal with the issues from seeing the first one….”

Goth Grrl in a Country-Western Bar
Sometimes I live a little on the wild side, I admit it. But I’m still not sure why I agreed to take a ride out to Coquitlam, late at night after we were out at some of Vancouver’s roughest underground bars…

Dreaded Opinions

The Collected “Opinions By Joe” Articles - Appeared in Diversity Magazine 1994 – 1997.

Up To the Seventh Stage of “No”: (Oh, were those your testicles?)
I remember being a not-so-little girl of about 14 and having troubles saying “no”. Well, see the trouble was that I was told that I was supposed to say no, but I didn’t know how… Over and over again I got to the point where I was forced to back up my “no” …with physical force.

Short-shorts

Foolish poetry your mom could read.

A bunch of ShortShorts (A List of Dirty Words, Your Trust, Femme and Beauty, A Top’s Safeword)

Prose

Family stuff — I was dating a particular sweet dyke at a time when her father perpetrated a monstrous injustice upon her. After much rage and reflection, I wrote this thankful piece: To My Own Family, but the first thing to come out was a bit more poisonous than that, and written to my lover’s father: Curse.

Music by Elaine Miller. Well, really it should be “A piece entitled “Music”, by Elaine Miller”

Cold-Blooded Pair-Bonding
When two people are Just So Disgusting together.

Follow That Bus!
Published in Exact Fare II, and on CBC.ca.

Naughty Stuff

I Love Your Mind For Spike.

From From FIST (nope, I’m not stuttering)

Fi[r]st (The “Fist” story in full)

Spank. One of my very first fiction pieces.

A Femme’s List of Incidental Skills (Or: Things This Femme Can Do) Published in Brazen Femme.

Here's a list of some of the workshops I present.

• Percussive Play 101; Soft and Hard-Hitting Information
• Brat Bondage
• Topping a Novice Bottom
• Interrogations, Takedowns, Play Rape and Brats: Resistance Play
• Fisting: The ins and outs of vaginal fisting
• RolePlay- Getting the Drama Back Into Your Sex Life
• Brattiness: The Most Playful Play

A further list:

BoyDrag / Masculine Transformation Skills (physical particpation)

Writing Erotica (or just(!) Porn) (physical particpation)

Sex Talk (moderated discussion)

Homemade Sex Toys and Pervertibles

Negotiation for BDSM Play

Female Ejaculation / GSpot

sexual teasing

“traditional” spanking/caning/corporal

Mind Reading, a class for Tops

The Root of Your Fantasies (how to discover where your kink stems from, and how to make your scenes hotter)

Humour in SM

Mindfuckery

Supporting Documents for Some Seminars:

(Because some folks have asked for ‘em…)

Negotiation

pre-scene-negotiation-list (RTF format)

It’s done now. But to see the finished product, you’ll need to come over and experience it!

Thank you thank you thank you to the glorious friends who came and danced around nekkid and paint-covered, and made the painting miracle happen.

Alas, that meant the incessant rain would trickle down the sloping roof and leap into my attic, drenching… well, Grandma’s antique embroidered linens, my off-season clothes, some fine china I’d had stored…. Meh. What a mess.

Oh yeah, and then it rained in my livingroom. Looky. (click each thumbnail to see the sordid pic)

Yesterday, a nice roofer guy named John saved my bacon… clomping around in the dark, cold and wind up there, yet…. If you need a roofer, contact me for his number.

Now all I have to do is… 12861726 loads of soggy laundry.

The following is a rough transcript of a radio show I did somewhere around 1997. The “interviewer” position is Carlie’s, and her words are marked with her name. I don’t have a transcript of all her words, but most of them were segues to the next portion of the program. All unattributed text is mine. Pardon the typos, it was hastily typed to begin with, and I never got around to fixing it. Porting it from Mac to PC didn’t help it any, either.

[laughing]

Hedonist’s House of Hormones, indeed!

-Elaine

*****************************

INTRO MUSIC DR HOOK – FREAKER’S BALL

Introduction – Carlie

Front Door (Knock, knock)

Who is it?

Carlie – Sexy FM Expose Team!

F/X door noise ?-

Come on in! Welcome to The Hedonist’s House of Hormones! Let’s take a tour of my lovely home, and see all the wonderful, innocent-looking or inexpensive gadgets to further your sex life.

Carlie – You mean it’s possible to have kink without cash?

I think you’ll find that imagination is sexier than consumerism… trust me. Our first stop is the foyer, in which we find — a Closet!

Carlie – Like the one we all came out of?

Here we find shoelaces of all persuasions – and each of them has the potential to be tying something other than shoes! toes, fingers and genitalia come to mind.

This old leather jacket is just begging to be made into a flogger – with a handle made from spare doweling.

And gloves – rubber , wool, or leather; they all add sensation to a friendly spank or a caress.

This feather duster makes a great tickler- as long as it’s not dusty at the time. (Allergy attacks put a quick damper on any scene)

The ordinary – looking sports bag has a very fun accessory – a nylon webbing strap adjustable in length, and complete with hooks on the end for attaching to D-rings or anchor points!

Any old shoe sole made or rubber makes a great paddle – especially if you punch some holes in it to make it swing faster

OF course you realize that this is all consensual play!

Carlie – _____________________________

Let’s go downstairs now, shall we?

Carlie – What, going down so soon?

It’s never too soon…

Down here is my workshop/garage – and just a jumble of toys!

speaking of toys, ping pong paddles are good for hitting -more than little white balls!

A pair of swimming goggles painted with black enamel paint makes a blindfold – And a whiffle ball makes a great gag – which should please all the golfer’s spouses out there. Because of the holes in the whiffle ball, it’s a breathable gag, and so very safe.

Nerf balls make good gags for the same reason!

Carlie – Spit soakers!

Yes, Imagine throwing a nerf ball gag at your top afterwards. An excellent vengeance scene!

Paint stir sticks make wicked little paddles but watch out for splinters

And a bungee cord, doubled over with an electrical tape handle, and the covering on the ends removed , makes a great little whip. Don’t forget to remove the hooks, too!

I’ll bet you never thought of Mouse traps

Carlie – Human sized?

Ah, Catchy idea! But seriously, as long as you don’t let them snap on bits of anatomy, mousetraps of any size make excellent clamps, and properly sterilized; piercing boards.

Carlie- How would you sterilize a mouse trap?

I’d start with a new mouse trap, really, and boil the heck out of it, then soak it in alcohol before use

This drop sheet can be used for wrapping-bondage, and for catching spills -

Carlie – Lube wrestling!

Yes, but lube does get a bit expensive. Safflower oil comes out of your skin the easiest after a good wrestle!

A ladder makes a perfect rack to tie some willing person to;

Carlie – and make them walk under?

Ha! Punishment for the superstitious!

This cheap paintbrush with the stiff bristle is good for causing sensation, and for sensitizing the skin

And the omnipresent roll of duct tape – what a lot of uses for this!

Carlie – ___________ clothing_____________

And bondage. Wrapping duct tape over clothing or plastic wrap is good unless you want to have a hair removal scene as well!

A good pair of ambulance scissors is imperative if you and your bottom are doing intricate bondage scenes. Ambulance scissors are the type that haven’t got a sharp, pointed lower jaw, and so you won’t be slicing your bottom to ribbons while extricating them from a – sticky situation!

The trimmed inside of a 45 rpm record makes a good cock base if yours has none. Harness a whole new set of possiblilities…

The jubilee clip can be found at the hardware store – they’re tightened with a screwdriver and clamp onto any body protrusion.

Tack shops, found mostly in Cloverdale, are a hunting ground for neat stuff of all persuasions – canvas slings originally made for going under horses’ bellies, crops, clips,panic snaps, spurs, horse bits made of rubber for under $10 .. this list is endless.

Just try not to let them know what your nefarious intentions are – most of these places are not SM friendly.

Carlie – They would prefer that you stick to tormenting horses?

That’s right! And in this corner of the basement are some of the switches birches, I’ve cut from trees and bushes outside. Do an allergy test, though!

Carlie – _______________________________

A patch test can be done by lightly abrading the skin surface in some unnoticible spot and rubbing a peeled section of branch on that spot. If there is no reaction in 24 hrs, you’re safe. That would be itching, redness of irritation, or any allergic – type reaction.

Moving on into the sewing room -

These little tweezer clamps are made simply by obtaining bodkins from any sewing store, and dipping the ends in plasti-dip from a hardware store. The plasti-dip coats the ends and makes sure they do not cut into sensitve skin.

Carlie – I can see why Grandma spent so much time in here!

Nylon webbing straps can also be found in any good sewing store – like Dressew and can be made into anything! – Run a stitch or nine where you want – you can make harnesses, cuffs, ties, etc. Be very careful around the neck area! Use collars that will not tighten and don’t attach other bondage to the neck. Neck play can be very dangerous! Remember my favorite saying! Don’t use up the masochists!- And let’s try to keep our heads, shall we…

Any of the aforementioned strap contraptions can be made adjustable if you buy or salvage buckles – and I would say always salvage. You can obtain all sorts of items second-hand which have their own history – and you can give them a better one!

Just peeping in to the laundry room as we pass,

Carlie – What’s in the washer?

I just bought a bunch of cotton rope from the grocery store, but it is too stiff and I’m washing over and over to soften it up! This works for canvas and hemp clothng and toys as well.

We also can see my bucket of clothespins, ready to be made into zippers!

Carlie – ____________________________

Putting clothespins on folds of skin and taking them off one at a time causes a very interesting – er – sensation. Putting a string through many clothespins and taking then all off at once is a Zipper – and causes a very BIG interesting sensation.

Proceeding upstairs, this is my spanking clean living room, fit for a visit from your mother or mine.

carlie – I don’t see anything _______________

If you look at the ceiling, past the plants hanging about, what do you see?

carlie – _______ eyebolts ________

Yep, they’re firmly screwed into the beams, not just the ceiling, and are capable of supporting a very happy person. Not to mention my plants!

Here’s a good time to mention that there should not be a lot of pressure put on wrist restraints. Apart form the problem of loss of circulation, it is very easy to permanently damage the nerve right under the thumb. Hitchhiking would become difficult if not impossible.

Oh, and do not leave someone alone in any kind of bondage. Not only is it stupid , but resoundingly illegal.

Peep into the study as we pass;

Carlie – Secretary Fetish! _____hot expanse of desk________

I find that a big desk is fun for all sorts of scenes once you sweep all that pesky paperwork to the floor! And that ruler on the desk is perfect for – straightening things out.

Elastic bands can be used to tighten clothes pins for that extra pinch, and can be used for cock rings – careful about circulation!

Speaking of scenes, always remember to discuss safewords

Carlie – _________ consensus ___________

Most people use the safewords Red, Yellow and Green for Stop, Slow, and OK – and when you can’t talk, you should have safe actions! – Waving a certain way, or lifting a leg, for instance.

Ah! Next, the bedroom – not to be neglected as the site of the most comfortable item of furniture extant – the bed.

Under this innocent looking floral cover is my black rubber bedspread. I bought it from a company that manufactures inner tubes. Two rubber sheets glued side by side cover the whole bed and cost less than $30.

If you run your hands under frame of the bed, you’ll encounter my eyebolts, tucked discreetly away from prying eyes, but easily accessible when you know where they are.

Oh, and while we’re on the subject of bondage, stay away from cheap handcuffs if you can avoid them, they’ve been known to jam.

Carlie-_ ___ skipping _____________

Jumping back into the closet, but only briefly, a ladies cummerbund belt with a nose notch cut in makes an excellent blindfold.

Carlie-_____eighties _________

Old belts that you don’t want anymore can be made into perfect bondage straps if you punch more holes all down the length.

Neckties, nylons, bandanas, and scarves are also useful for tying people up, light fluffier materials can be used for tickling and silky or satiny materials can be strewn on the bed to make a sensuous nest for two people to roll on. Or three. Or four.

For those lingerie freaks, an old pair of fishnet nylons can be made into a shirt by cutting off the feet and cutting out the crotch. Paired with another pair of fishnets, it’s $30 cheaper than a catsuit at the Bay.

A pair of 501 button flys can be transformed into a dildo harness by stuffing the base of the dildo in between some of the buttons and letting the dick protrude.

Carlie- I guess it’s in the Jeans!!

Ha! Skirt hanger clips are what we’ve heard of as “out of the closet” clamps, Small weights can be hung from the hook, or it can be pulled by hand or teeth.

Faux pearls are a great sensation producer when trailed across the skin,

And a clothes brush – or big hair brush can be a paddle, or be used to sensitise skin. As can a slicker brush, bought from a pet store for very little.

Pet stores are great places for obtaining collars and leashes in varying materials, too.

Carlie – ________ more suited to humans______

In the bedside table I keep the neatest things – This one is a bbl wrap dildo! Twirl the bubble wrap into a tight cylinder and stuff it in a condom. Cheap and easy. Uh…

That’s the dildo.

Condoms can be had for free, or very cheaply, at many organizations such as AIDS Vancouver, the Gay and Lesbian centre, or STD clinics. As well as preventing the spread of disease,(and unwanted pregnancy), they are perfect for making clean-up a breeze. Wrap them around any toys you insert in any body orifice. Especially latex dildos, as you can not boil them as you can, silicone ones.

Remember that oil and latex do not mix – any oil-based lubricant breaks down condoms

Carlie – ______corrode cocks_______________

Also keep oil-based lubes out of the vagina – You can get a nasty infection because it will not wash out!

You can’t beat good lube. It’s not cheap, but if you add a few drops of water when it dries a little, it will last longer than you do.

Bathroom! Let’s see what our fertile imagination can come up with!

toilet bondage might become all the rage in your house – have the person face down and kneeling, arms cuffed behind the toilet, under the tank.

Carlie – with their face in the bowl??

Perhaps. You’re looking a little flushed, now , dear. All this talk. For an even more evil variation, use the toilet paper to tie them there. Threaten them with all the things that are going to happen to them if they accidentally break free!

The little rubber cups that come in snake bite kits do heavy nipple suction. The larger the cup, the harder the suction. These work best with no chest hair

For spanking fetishists, wet skin is a much more sensitive skin to slap. – And where better to find a wet person than in the bathroom!

The plunger may be an unlikely gadget, but whacked sucker-end first against someone’s butt, it has an amazing grip and can be used to pull someone around, much to their dismay.

A shower curtain makes a quick and easy drop cloth, and A cold waxing kit is just the thing for excruciatingly painful hair removal scenes

Carlie – Lawnmower fetish!

You’re getting the picture.

Attended bubble baths are one of my favorite ways to relax.

Mentholated rubs have an interesting hot sensation – some will be too strong, and you can water them down with oil or lube. Watch out for sensitive membranes – these rubs will burn unpleasantly.

Mouthwash can also have much the same effect, except cool.

Hold your breasts, I mean breath, we’re entering the kitchen – truly a room made for sex and/or SM.

Very light cooking oil is wonderful for massages

Carlie – And for the aforementioned lube wrestling

Speaking of wrestling, if you’re going to do it in Jell-O, don’t use the green color. It stains your skin something awful.

wooden spoons may be passe, but spatulas are the nastiest thing in the kitchen. Try one out on your loved one, if they are agreeable.

Cling wrap bondage is a little-known delight.

Carlie – __see thru________

Once again, keep the ambulance scissors around just in case!

Kitchen chairs are good to attach a friend to, both in the ordinary sitting position, and – well, I’ll let you think of the other positions.

Candles, for a hot waxing scene – light them and drip the wax. The farther away you hold the candles, the less hot the wax will be. Cheap parafin candles are the best – the burning temperature is low. And try to keep the was out of the hairy spots. It’s hell to get out again.

An oven mitt is often soft & sleek one side, rough and harsh other . If not you can make it so with a pot scrubber and some scrap of silky material.

bamboo skewers can be lightly trailed across sensitive areas for a shiveringly good feeling. Prod gently for a stronger reaction.

Garbage bag tie wraps, the nylon sort – make excellent cockrings, wrist restraints

And while you may be tempted to use candy flavouring you don’t want sugar in the vagina – it’s a recipe for a surefire yeast infection.

Ice cubes produce an intense sensation when passed over the skin, and if carefully rounded at the edges can be inserted. Ladies, remember that the vagina has no temperature-sensing nerve endings past the first two inches . You are capable of giving your partner quite a shock.

Get in touch with nature. Include a vegetable or fruit in your sexual repertoire today. Zucchini, cukes, carrots, melons with holes bored in them, strawberries and whipped cream – the list is endless. Some insertable veggies should wear a condom – many can cause a slight irritation

With that in mind, for those who indulge in heavier caning-type scenes, a ginger fig will keep a bottom from tightening thier butt cheeks during the scene. This is basically a peeled ginger root segment made into a kind of tampon by passing a string through it so you will not lose it up your bottom’s bottom.

The same goes for anything inserted in the ass – make sure that it cannot be lost, as the ass can create some suction. And it is a very tender place.

Carlie ________probe______orifice______

Yes, you must be careful not to go beyond the 8″ of rectum – beyond that the bowel walls are thin as tissue paper and can be torn, which is a very serious injury.

Rectum, damn near killed ‘im!

Oh yeah, and nothing that has been in the ass should go anywhere else in the body without being thoroughly cleaned. Once again, condoms are good for the rapid switcheroo.

So play up your INDIVIDUALITY – Use MATERIALS AT HAND

HAVE FUN – COMMUNICATE to make scenes hotter and PLAY SAFE !

This brings us to my friendly back door. Get out!

Carlie – So soon?

Well, I’m expecting people, shortly. All the guys ‘n gals from Canada Customs are having their annual tea party here. Only in the most quotidian of homes, you understand. Thanks for visiting the Hedonist’s House of Hormones!

Bye!

Sfx: SLAM